On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
