any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
