Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
3 2 1 whiskey
Randomize
