why didn't you poke me back
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
