Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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