Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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