Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
