weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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