READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize