My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
