I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
