I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
