Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
