Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
