That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
