Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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