I cockslap morals
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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