Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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