i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well I just put wine in my tea
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
