you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
