You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
this just has baby written all over it
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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