the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize