Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
