Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
