ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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