idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
