But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
