He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
