based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
