I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
sex in a hospital.. check
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
