You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
