these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
