I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
