Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
