Sponge bath it is.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
