11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
