honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize