i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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