yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
