READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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