I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
