I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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