You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
