woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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