This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
