clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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