lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
