On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
