the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize