My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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