so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I need a beard to bite.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize