That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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