i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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