He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
