Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
