Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
