You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
