Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
