dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
