I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
