i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
