I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
