Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
