I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
