Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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