I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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