A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
it's great music for shaving your balls
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
