She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
