Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
