R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
