The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
