I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
